Spiritual Musing

No one really thinks of running a spiritual thing but for me, it certainly can be. I listen to music when I run. I don't listen to hymns though. I do have hymns on my ipod but I found if I listen to hymns, I start paying more attention to the music and words than to what I am doing. Not always a bad thing but when I am running, I kinda need to pay attention to what is going on around me. Also, most hymns don't really have the kind of beat I need to help me out so I listen to other music.

As I listen to the music, I am not really paying a lot of attention to it. I am aware of it, occasionally a song I really like plays and I remember hearing it but for the most part, it is more background noise. I ran for over 2 hours yesterday and had music on the entire time but I can only remember specifically hearing maybe 5 songs.

So what do I actually think about when I run? Lots of things. I think I spent a few miles thinking about Survivor, what I would do if I were on the show and how it would be. I think about things I need to do or upcoming events. I thought about the wonder of the world and how perfectly Heavenly Father made things. I thought about it being Sunday and that I think running on a glorious morning like yesterday was keeping the Sabbath holy. Yes, really.

Yesterday was a 10 miler and a good portion of the run was spent in thinking about God. You may find it strange that I think about God when I run but there is something about running that makes me contemplate and ponder Heavenly Father, my relationship with him and other spiritual matters.

It is just me and Heavenly Father when I run so I am able to really examine things, ask questions and reflect on all aspects of what I feel and how I am living my life.

One of the things that I reflected on, as I was running, was my relationship with Heavenly Father. Most days, I think it is pretty good. It can always be improved on. At the moment, I think Heavenly Father is carrying the bulk of our relationship more than I am. I know this is a disappointment to him but that he still loves me. I thought about the inequality in our relationship (my fault) and how I could improve it. I know what to do but I was thinking more specifically on things like...what can I do tomorrow, in the next hour, in the next week, to get back to where I know Heavenly Father would be happier with me. It is not really anything difficult, hard or things I don't enjoy...it is things that I push aside to make room for other things because I know it is not that hard. Does that make sense?

So, as was expected, my run came to an end and my silent but heartfelt time with Heavenly Father came to an close.

A few hours later, I was sitting in office of my Bishop (Yes, I did go to church after the run) This is the first time that I have had a meeting with our Bishop since he was called, even though I have known him for several years. This was our first talk where he was in the position of being the head of my ward. We chatted about various things and the basic gist of the conversation was:

Heavenly Father loves you. What do you think you can do to bring yourself closer to Him and how can I help you get there?

Wow, this just blew me away. It may seem like a pretty standard thing to ask but it really did echo so many of the things I had been thinking about just a few hours prior. Bishop B managed to hit on the exact points that I had examined and found lacking and needing work.

Could there be any clearer sign that our Bishop truly is called of God? I don't think he pulled the topic of our conversation out of a hat but that he was prompted by the Holy Spirit to say the exact things I needed to hear and confirmed my earlier talk with Heavenly Father I had running.

I love that I can go talk to my Bishop and not be judged, be offered help or whatever I need and still come away feeling loved by Heavenly Father and that my Bishop wants only the best for me.

So yeah, I am making some changes to help me get back to being the person I know Heavenly Father wants me to be.